reverence

     - lois greenfield, BODYSCAPES 

since learning of the deaths of my sister and my niece, my perception of many things seems to have been enhanced, while for others things its been subdued. there are a number of things - the weather, the news, the day - that I seem to be somewhat oblivious to. while other things - reckless drivers (actually, reckless behavior in general), the tone of someone's voice, language, the coming and going of life - that i seem to be particularly sensitive to. i have also been noticing my own personal sensitivity to being touched. i find myself guarded, and find that my personal 'bubble,' so to speak,  has decreased its overall permeability. for someone who normally identifies as a 'cuddler', and enjoys activities such as AcroYoga, in which personal space is unheard of, this realization is somewhat surprising. i have recognized this increased sensitivity, and thought a lot about the how/when/why of it, and it seems that my sensitivity corresponds with a higher reverence for which i hold the human body, and the connection i find between my body and my emotions. in spite of how resilient our bodies are, and the miracles of medicine, there are some things that the flesh simply cannot withstand. indeed, there are limits to what our body can tolerate. regardless of your belief system, i think most would agree that the connection between emotional and mental well-being are integrally a part of our physical well-being - i personally find the three inexorably linked. i am finding myself, lately, not only more aware of the workings of my physical body, but of its relationship to my being as a whole. my heart broke when i heard about my sister's passing, and broke further still as i learned about the manner in which she and my niece were killed. suddenly, life seems so utterly precious, and these vessels that enable us to live seem so utterly fragile. not only my body, but those of others have also become ever so much more dear to me. the thought of another hurting someone - physically, emotionally, mentally - seems so inexplicable, and indeed, given the union of the three it seems that an injury to either - if severe enough - could be too much for life to handle. i have always tended to revere the human body, and now my heightened senses seem to elicit an even higher degree of sanctity for the body, and for life. it seems almost as if a veil has been lifted and with the increased clarity i am finally able to see just how precious, dear, and beautiful some things integral to this life are. as with all new knowledge i'm sure such clarity comes with a certain level of responsibility, and i suppose it will be a grand, and perhaps life long mission to discover what such responsibility entails.